Sample Brochure Makeover
Review the "before"
version of this sample makeover of a
brochure for astrological compatibility
reports from Kathryn McGlynn.
Here now are my comments on
what the brochure needed to get a better
To its credit, the
"before" version avoided the most
common mistake in brochures: wasting the cover
panel with the name of the product or the
company in big letters. For the reader, that
provokes a big "So what?" However,
McGlynn's cover copy needs more pizzazz to
maximize the product's appeal.
The original version didn't
include enough information about how
astrological reports would benefit couples. It
also didn't make it clear that the insights came
from a computer program, and explain why that
represented an improvement over traditional
Testimonials from satisfied
customers always make it easier for prospects to
imagine how they too might benefit. McGlynn had
a few, but unfortunately her customers didn't
feel comfortable giving permission to use their
The order form contained no
place for the customer to fill in a "ship
to" address, and needed an introduction
that reinforced the benefits of the product.
McGlynn decided to combine the
two reports so that the brochure described only
one product, and to re-format it to be printed
out on 8 1/2" by 11" paper folded
twice (instead of once) so that each panel
measures 8 1/2" by approximately 3
By the way, I'm pretty
skeptical when it comes to this sort of thing,
but McGlynn ran the program for me using the
information I provided, and I was astounded at
how precisely it pinpointed certain factors
holding my relationship together that even my
close friends don't know about.
Now here is my revised
The "After" Version
ARE YOU STAR-CROSSED LOVERS
OR A HEAVENLY MATCH?
Discover the hidden truths
about your relationship that astrological
analysis can uncover.
In what respects are the
two of you compatible?
In what areas do you face
How can you anticipate and
head off problems in your relationship?
[interior three panels]
Since ancient times, people
have looked to the stars for insights about
human behavior. Now it's easier than ever to
understand the influences of the heavens on
relationships, with the aid of a
computer-generated report that incorporates the
wisdom of the most experienced astrologers of
From the days of Cleopatra and
Mark Anthony, astrologers have given couples
advice on their compatibilities and conflicts.
They did this after painstaking mathematical and
geometrical calculations. A tiny computational
error could produce hugely inaccurate results.
Now, through the power of
computers, you can be sure that your
compatibility analysis reflects dependably
charted influences and interactions among
This report, written in
ordinary English, offers a short-cut to the
knowledge you'd have after several lifetimes in
a relationship that you want to understand NOW.
* * *
We offer a computer-generated
report that represents two distinct ways to
understand a relationship:
I. Romantic Compatibility
II. Romantic Composite Chart
The full report runs
approximately 25 pages.
$29.95 includes shipping and
I. The Romantic
Compatibility Chart provides separate natal
charts - one for each partner - along with an
analysis of the relationship needs and
potentials of each partner.
II. The Romantic Composite
Chart compares both partners' charts and
then describes the myriad of factors that mesh
and clash in the relationship. It also indicates
the prospects for each partner's romantic needs
being fulfilled by the other.
"Thanks to the
compatibility chart, we learned much about
ourselves and each other as we embarked on our
journey together. We read it on our
honeymoon." - Jim & Bev, Massachusetts
"It made a great
anniversary gift." - Ellen, Massachusetts
"There were some amazing
revelations." - Whit, Massachusetts
"The astrology report
contained observations that were amazingly on
target. I was impressed." - Monica,
"This information helped
us come to terms with our inherent natures. It
would help any couple to realize what comes
naturally to them as a couple and to understand
areas in which they need to focus their
attention." - Sharon & John,
___ Yes! I'd like to find out
what the heavens have to say about my
relationship. Here's the information you need.
FIRST PARTNER'S NAME:
SECOND PARTNER'S NAME:
Please mail the report to:
Enclose check or money order of $29.95,
P.O. Box 685
Sturbridge, MA 01566
THANK YOU AND ENJOY!
If you'd like a free,
no-obligation quote on a brochure makeover,
simply email your draft to Marcia
Want to learn to perform
makeovers like this one - and get paid for your
skill? Check out the Marketing
Protégé Program, a one-on-one tutorial
that trains you to become a marketing consultant
in 10 weeks.
Copyright 1999 Marcia Yudkin.
All rights reserved.