Creative Marketing Solutions: Fresh, Effective Strategies for Attracting Clients and Customers from Marcia Yudkin
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Sample Business Bio Makeover
"After" Version

Review the "before" version of this sample revision of a business bio.

Denise O'Berry's bio, along with her Web sites at whatspossible.com, teamtrac.com and schmooze-ability.com, gave me the impression that she was targeting new, naive business owners and moderately experienced sole proprietors who took in $50,000 to $100,000 per year.

The term "small business" means things to different audiences, and thus should be treated with extreme care.  Although the Small Business Administration considers "small businesses" to include those with up to 100 employees, to many people the phrase would not encompass thriving businesses with $2 million in revenues.  Therefore I used the phrase "business owner" instead of "small business owner" in rewriting this for Denise.

My second concern was that her bio sounded like her market wanted cheap, easy solutions — again, not consistent with her target market of experienced business owners pulling in $250,000 to $2 million per year.  I decided to get rid of the phrases "ways to grow their business with less effort" and "get more with less" in favor of more sophisticated business concepts.

Third, from the original version I did not get a clear sense of the nature and depth of her business experience.  I asked some questions, elicited a fuller picture of her credentials and rewrote the bio to better position her as an expert. For instance, I didn't think serving on the boards of local organizations gave her "expert" status as well as did her media appearances, which I inserted in the final bio.

Now here is my revised version of Denise O'Berry's bio.

The "After" Version

With more than two decades of operational and management experience, Denise O'Berry has developed a sharp eye for how businesses get bloated with inefficiencies, cross-purposes and miscommunication — and how they can retool for a sleeker, smoother, strategically focused organization. As an entrepreneur who quickly built her own successful consulting business, she also empathetically helps other business owners set priorities and create the balance they want between life and work.

Her clients have ranged from telecommunications giants like GTE to Mom-and-Pop retail shops, with most having 10 or fewer employees and up to $2 million in annual sales. She writes a regular column for both Tampa Bay Wired and BrainBuzz.com and has been featured in the Tampa Tribune and on BayNews9.

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Copyright 2000 Marcia Yudkin.  All rights reserved.

My fee for writing or rewriting a business bio is $300.

"When I hired her to write me a new bio, Marcia Yudkin was fast, 
professional and extremely helpful. I appreciate the fact that she took time to get to know my language, as Australian business-speak is somewhat different to that of the US in that it's not good to speak ourselves up too emphatically. Where I had been struggling, she got it perfectly right." - Teresa Keleher, Sydney, Australia

Inquire about having me create a dynamic new bio for you.

Want to learn to perform makeovers like this one - and get paid for your skill?  Check out the Marketing Protégé Program, a one-on-one tutorial that trains you to become a marketing consultant in 10 weeks.

Read more about how to "spin" information when you write your bio.

Hire Marcia Yudkin to write or rewrite sales letters, brochures, web sites, flyers, press releases - or bios.

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