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Sample Partnership Proposal Makeover
"Before" Version

From time to time I receive a proposal for some sort of strategic
alliance in my email. Invariably these are vague and baffling.

Here is a typical example, with the names and URL changed. The
subject line was "Partnership Proposition."

The "Before" Version

Dear Ms. Yudkin,

My name is Michael Nelson and I represent DeTunni Paper, Inc. We are a preprinted paper products company serving the promotional industry.  Since your service and site involves marketing, we are looking to services such as yours to develop partnerships to resell our products through.

Should you be interested in starting a dialogue between our two firms, I would welcome the opportunity to discuss this further. Please feel free to look at our website at http://www.detunnipaper.com.

Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to speaking with you.

Regards,

Michael Nelson
DeTunni Systems, Inc.
Preprinted Paper Solutions
http://www.detunnipaper.com

#  #

Put yourself in my place:  Would you have a positive response to this e-mailed proposal?  Remembering that I've changed the details, so that you can't look at this company's Web site for further information, how would you diagnose and then repair the flaws in this approach? When you're ready, check out my revision and comments.

Copyright 2000 Marcia Yudkin.  All rights reserved.

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