Sample Partnership Proposal Makeover
"Before" Version
From time to time
I receive a proposal for some sort of strategic
alliance in my email. Invariably these are vague
and baffling.
Here is a typical example, with the names and
URL changed. The
subject line was "Partnership
Proposition."
The "Before" Version
Dear Ms. Yudkin,
My name is Michael Nelson and I represent
DeTunni Paper, Inc. We are a preprinted paper
products company serving the promotional
industry. Since your service and site
involves marketing, we are looking to services
such as yours to develop partnerships to resell
our products through.
Should you be interested in starting a dialogue
between our two firms, I would welcome the
opportunity to discuss this further. Please feel
free to look at our website at http://www.detunnipaper.com.
Thank you for your time and consideration, and I
look forward to speaking with you.
Regards,
Michael Nelson
DeTunni Systems, Inc.
Preprinted Paper Solutions
http://www.detunnipaper.com
#
#
Put yourself in my place:
Would you have a positive response to this
e-mailed proposal? Remembering that I've
changed the details, so that you can't look at
this company's Web site for further information,
how would you diagnose and then repair the flaws
in this approach? When you're ready, check out my
revision and comments.
Or get hold of my 20+
makeovers of sales letters to study at your
leisure. Details.
Copyright 2000 Marcia Yudkin.
All rights reserved.
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